Sunday, 2 December 2012

Korean Dating Shows

I'm in a relationship so I'm not in the dating scene any more, and my Korean man is very westernised, so I haven't had any straight up Korean style dating. HOWEVER! I have found another way to observe the dating scene, dating TV shows! and better yet a show that is actually from England and remade in Korea. The one and only, Take Me Out! or in Korea, Love Switch!

Take Me Out in the UK

Love Switch in Korea

The aim of this dating show is they bring in one contestant, usually a male, and then a large arrangement of the opposite gender watch videos of the contestant and switch off the light on their counter if they don't want to date him. At the end the contestant chooses someone from the people who have left their lights on and gets to go on a date with that person.

After having watched both these shows I've noticed a few differences in how the Koreans approach the show compared with the Brit's.

1) In the UK nearly every show ends with them picking someone and going on a paid for luxury date together, usually a holiday, which then viewers see clips of in the next episode. Now the Korean version appears to lack the after date prize and footage, but that probably would be because hardly anyone gets chosen at the end of the show! At first I thought it was just a one off that the contestant at the end didn't choose any of the women that left their lights on, but after watching a few episodes I realised that, more or less, of the 3 men they bring on only 1 will walk away with a woman at the end. Picky much? the girls are friggin' gorgeous.

The text says "Gu Yuna who prefers busy guys" but she gets her light turned off by him in the end. 

It's not a flippin' marriage show, why so picky?? oh wait...maybe it is

2) All the contestants talk about how many years after dating they would like to be married by and will base their decisions on this. I cannot tell you the number of times I have watched this show and the people start talking about when they would like to be married by, and if your marriage timeline doesn't match theirs you are out of the running for a date. Why would you even mention that to a guy you are first meeting?? That's a cardinal sin in the western dating world!! punishable by dying alone and only being loved by your 50 cats!

"I'm 28 so I need to be married in 2 years, when do you want get married?"

This may seem a little forward, but actually out in Korea it isn't uncommon to hear this. And even the male contestants will say something similar. It is expected that everyone in Korea should get married by age 30, and although this is a similar standard in the west it's much more heavily enforced here. My older friends will be sent on constant streams of blind dates in order to find a husband/wife before "time runs out"

3) Your grades matter. I was watching one episode where the guy started explaining that even though he went to a good school his grades weren't the best, nearly every woman in that place turned their lights off....

Playa Playa

Education in Korea is super competitive and important, which deserves it's own separate post, but as we have sussed already that this show is a kind of marriage audition, having a good education is an important factor. So, best keep that C- you got that one time in pre-school hidden from your date.

Now we know we're looking for a genius in a similar age bracket annnddd...

4) You gotta be beautiful. Now this is pretty standard in any country, so no surprise, however in Korea there is a huge plastic surgery culture, another topic so huge that it needs it's own post. Also what is considered beautiful here is bound to a very strict set of guidelines which leads to a lot of people getting the exact same plastic surgery face....that most the contestants have...

The classic surgery face is skinny jaw, pointy nose, huge eyes. 



A lot of the women on the show have the characteristics of a surgery face

Spend enough time in Korea and you can spot the surgery face from a mile off, and I can safely say that about 97% of the women you see in the media have that exact face. The only fully natural girls you see tend to be in the audience. 

Now in the UK often celebrities will have had some work done, but when I watch Take me out UK the girls are all very varied, short, tall, old, young, skinny, and most importantly FAT! in the UK there is such a thing as a beautiful fat girl on TV and she will find herself a date on that show like any other girl. It's perfectly normal to be a little bigger, but with Korea's narrow vision of beauty you will not find such a diverse mix on Love switch. You will only be offered a skinny selection of surgery faces, because apparently that is the only thing that sells on Korean TV.

Take me out UK: There's actually some meat on those girls bones

So basically we can conclude that the general Korean dating show rule is to find someone extremely intelligent, extremely good looking and suitable to marry...no wonder the contestants hardly walk away with a date at the end....

Cultural Perspective on the Subject

One of the most important aspects of Korean culture one should understand is the constant pursuit for perfection. Post-war South Korea was deathly poor and all the countries focus was on improving their lives for future generations. Through making big impossible goals and working continuously to reach them, South Korea has become a super powered economic hub of Asia, however, that impossible goal culture has stuck. From an early age Korean children are encouraged to be the smartest, richest, most successful, and most beautiful. While in the west are taught to be accepting and to be happy with our flabby bodies and mediocre lives. Both these systems are good and bad, pursuing perfection leads to an unhealthy obsession and despair when it doesn't happen to you but also to a super effective and high flying society, whereas pursuing acceptance creates a lazier society that can't progress as quickly, but more happiness with the cards that one has been dealt and a better avoidance of social problems that Souther Korea suffers from like low self esteem, over working and a strong plastic surgery culture.

So when Koreans go on dating shows they are still pursuing that impossible goal and want to find absolute perfection, then marry that sucker to seal the deal. Voilà mystery solved.

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